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“She’s a sweet old lady, but if we’re lucky, she’ll be more than that. She knows a lot, and sometimes she likes to talk.”
“Lucy, don’t get me wrong. I am totally happy to meet her. I was just trying to figure out if we have time for this, and I've figured out that we’ll have a good hour to visit before we have to head to the airport. We’re not so far from your place, Lucy, so if you are thinking twice about coming up to Port Haven, I can still take you home before I go. I can’t believe you’re really coming. But you’re sure it won’t throw off all your plans at home?”
Lucy was gazing out the passenger window at the trees going by in a blur.
“My plans,” she said. “I told you about my job. It’s part-time and flexible. Bookkeeping doesn’t need to be done every day. No, I’m more than ready to get away for a visit. It’s been a super long time since I’ve gotten out of town. And I’m not ready to say goodbye yet, to you.” She reached over and stroked Bob’s neck.
They were driving to the Lenora Easy Care Home. Warm sun streamed across trees that were just considering shedding some leaves for the winter.
“Look at that tree,” Bob said. “You know, back home people shrinkwrap their boats in white plastic for the winter. That tree looks like it was shrinkwrapped in green leaves.”
Lucy laughed. “That’s about what you said the last time we drove through here. Remember? On the way to UNC? That’s kudzu. You must remember that stuff. Charming if you don’t live here. It’s just a weed to us. If we didn’t pay attention, it would shrinkwrap our trees, houses and cars before we knew it.”
The well-kept pavement and the clear road signs were a comfortable treat for Bob, who was used to New England’s more demanding road conditions. Back home, Bob thought, even being alert won’t necessarily get you where you want to go. Sometimes you have to already have been there to know how to get there.
“So this is Rosa’s mom we're going to see, right?”
“Yes it is. Fierce and proud old Grandma. I love her. I visit her when I can. I’m so glad you’ll get to see her.”
The nurse at the desk informed them that Matilda was due for her meds but they could put them off for a little while if she had visitors. She showed them in to her room.
Lucy's grandmother was sitting in a large easy chair with pillows on both sides. She was dozing. Her roommate was out, or at least the other bed was empty.
“Matilda, honey,” said the nurse in a loud cloying voice. “You have visitors, honey. Wake up and be nice to them, sweetheart.” The nurse reached over to touch her arm, but before she reached it, Matilda pulled her arm away and opened her eyes to view her visitors.
“Lucy honey, so nice to see you, and who’s this nice young man you have here, don’t mind the nurse, she’s just leaving now, aren’t you, dear?”
The nurse turned and whisked out of the room.
Lucy leaned over to kiss her grandmother. “This is Bob, Grandma. He’s Bob McIver, actually, but a whole different one than Robert!” She laughed. “I knew Bob way back when he went to UNC.”
“Yes, I remember your mother speaking about him.”
Bob tried to smile but was distracted, wondering what Rosa had told her mother about him.
“Nice young man, too bad it took you this long to find him again, dear.”
Lucy gave Bob a surprised look. “You always keep me on my toes, Grandma. I never knew you heard about Bob.”
“Oh yes, dear, more than you know, I’m sure. Oh thank you for coming, both of you. I think they were going to give me my pills but Shearer across the hall had some troubles and off they went, hustling themselves over to see what was going on. Oh, I hate those pills. I know I need them or they wouldn’t give them to me, but they always make me sleepy. Sometimes I feel like I live in a fog that only clears up for a little while before they pop me some more pills and put me back in the fog again.”
Slowly she fumbled for something in her pocket. Her fingers missed the opening of the pocket twice but then found it and slipped inside, and sought something several times before closing on it and slowly, shakily pulled it free of the confines of the pocket.
It was a tissue. Slowly she brought her other hand over to help take hold of the tissue. Together, both hands opened the tissue carefully without tearing it. One hand lifted the tissue to her nose and dabbed it to both nostrils, and then dabbed the corner of her mouth.
Both hands shakily and slowly came together again to hold the tissue and bring the corners to a point again. It took several attempts to make the edges match, but examining her project carefully through her bifocal lenses, she succeeded in folding the tissue back into its original shape. Slowly she lowered her hand without looking, and after the third try, her hand managed to part the fabric at the opening of her pocket and slip the tissue inside, where her hand released it and secured it for its next use.
“I won’t be living here for long,” she said.
“Where will you go?” asked Bob.
“I won’t be a long time resident,” she said. “You don’t live long without family. These people are very nice and try to do good. But they are not family. They don't love me. They come and go on their work shifts. They don’t know me, they're not family." Her face softened. "It is wonderful that you have visited me. You are both family, and I love you.”
Lucy reached over to hold her shoulder and placed her warm hand on Matilda’s hand. “We are here for you Grandma. We love to come see you,” she said in a soothing voice.
“I won’t be here long. So I will give you this ring, Lucy.” She tried to remove the ring on her finger.
“Oh, no, Grandma, please! That’s your wedding band. You keep that,” Lucy said, stopping her with a gentle touch.
“No, Lucy, you take it. Please help me get it off. I want you to have it now. I want to tell you about it.”
Lucy reluctantly helped Matilda remove the ring, checking constantly to see if there was any hesitation in her eyes but there was only determination.
“I was given this ring not by my husband. He loved it and was happy for it to be my wedding band. But it was given to me by my grandmother Edy when I turned 16. It was when her cousin Moses died. It was 1937, dear.
“I never saw my grandmother cry before that, but when her cousin Moses died, she did cry, she cried a mighty cry, and she told me things with this ring that I believe she never told anyone else. If I don’t tell you now, then no one will ever know.
“This ring was a gift of my grandmother’s father. From your family, young man.”
Bob stiffened.
“Yes, he was a McIver, but not a good man. His brother Josiah was a good man. But this McIver was a cruel master, and my grandmother was the child of his…relations with Harriet. Harriet was my great-grandmother, and the master’s slave. So the master, he was my great-grandfather. Can you get my cup of water, dear?”
Lucy reached for the water by Matilda’s bed and brought it to her. With patience, Matilda brought it to her lips and took a sip, and then patiently, shakily, but without a spill, she set it down.
“The master gave this ring to my great-grandmother, maybe out of guilt, or maybe secret love. Who can ever know? My grandmother did tell me about the fight, though. It was between the McIver brothers. Jedediah was the master. He and his brother Josiah had a big fight, and my grandmother overheard it. She must have been 8 or 9, poor thing. All she remembered was hearing one call the other a Quaker and the other shouting ‘rapist’, and the rest was all yelling and fighting. It wasn’t long before Josiah was gone. Now we know he went up north to find a church job near the Yankee part of his family. That would be your people, young man.
“She cried so about her cousin Moses because she never got to see him. He was Josiah’s boy, you know, and lived up north with his mother Lutetia. That was Harriet’s younger sister. She was lucky enough to be loved by Josiah, really loved by him, they say. When we heard that Moses died, grandma was crying because she had always hoped to see him.
“She passed the ring on to me that day, soon after her cousin died. She had heard that he was a good man with a house in the north. She felt he was lucky. His parents had loved each other. That’s a miracle, every time. She herself and her brother were children of rape, she said, except she said no one knows for sure, and in her heart she said she hoped there had been some love.”
Matilda sipped her water slowly and carefully and placed it back down on the tray in front of her.
“Grandma,” breathed Lucy, “I can’t thank you enough.” Tears were in her eyes. “It’s beautiful. I will take good care of it. And I will give it to my granddaughter.”
“Oh, it was hard times then. My grandmother told me one more thing, and she said she didn’t tell it to nobody ever, and swore me to tell nobody and I haven’t. But now I’m going to my Maker soon and I don’t think she’ll mind if I say it, dear. It was so long ago and times are so different.
“She told me why there was only her and her brother. It wasn’t that the relations stopped. It was when grandma had to fix a problem of her own that she found out. It was a gentleman problem, don’t you know. Her mama, Harriet, took her to an old lady to get her fixed, and it turned out it was the same lady that fixed Harriet after she had her second child, Samuel. Some kind of wire, she used. She said she never told nobody about it or about the pains she had in her belly from that time on, even then when she talked to me she said she still had the pains sometimes. She cursed the whole idea of abortion.”
“But now we have ways to do it without damaging…” ventured Lucy.
“She cursed it. She thought it was horrible and nobody else should have it, ever. But she was glad she didn’t have more by the master. She had her two and gave her love to my grandmother and her brother. I’m so glad of that. Love lifts us out of evil.”
“Hello, sweetie,” cooed the nurse loudly, bustling into the room. “Time for your meds, honey.” She turned to Lucy and Bob, “I hope I’m not interrupting anything but I need to give the meds now. She feels better after she has them,” she said with a wink.
“I’ve let you visit a long time, honey, and you must be all worn out. We don’t want that. Here you go. You’ll feel much better now, and Dr Foster will be so proud of you.”
Lucy and Bob watched as the pills were popped and the cup of medication sipped down.
Matilda was sleepy now.
She opened her eyes as they approached her. “Oh, you two are still here. I’m so glad. But I’m so sleepy. You come see me again soon, won’t you, dears?”
Lucy bent over to kiss her grandmother and whispered, “Thank you so much for the ring. We love you,” but Matilda was asleep already. Bob rested his hand on her hand, and then they left quietly.